My friends have recently started throwing around the term “Adult Trash Face.” This represents any time we, as adults, are clearly failing at things like organization, communication, or basic human hygiene. The examples are numerous and profound, but I figured I’d start off with just a handful of selections from the last few weeks.
A disclaimer: contrary to what these photos may lead you to believe, I’ve got my life together.
Example 1: Studio Plate
One might say to one’s self “how can this be adult trash face? This is just one plate.” This plate has been sitting on my studio desk for weeks. I think it had apple slices on it for fifteen minutes. This plate has become the latest unwilling participant in Robin’s Strange Mind Games, in which I see how long I can avoid bringing it upstairs to wash. Every time I happen up on it, I’m either loaded with groceries, or have just settled into an afternoon of work or teaching. My students see it week after week and probably think it’s a new plate every time. They’re wrong. The funny thing is no other part of my studio is disorganized or messy. Just this one plate. Now it’s a sick joke I’m playing on myself. You know how it goes. Adult trash face.
Example 2: Teaching Purse
This is what my purse looked like today while teaching lessons at the college. As a rule, it must contain no fewer than two snacks and two empty water bottles, because settling into a 3-hour teaching stint is akin to being harpooned on a desert island. My Mary Poppins carpetbag of doom also contains a bottle of lotion (fairly standard for the ladies), four tubes of chapstick, some prescription pills, floss, about eighty pencils of varying writing capacities (some unsharpened, others without erasers, one literally broken in half), and a coupon passbook, like a boss. Also, one week-old gluten-free macaroon that may have already surpassed the acceptable-to-eat timeframe (it’s all relative), and one stick of string cheese that had only been out of the fridge for one hour at the time of this photo. These food items were in addition to the aforementioned two-snack rule, folks. Think on that. Adult trash face.
Example 2: Musician’s (Car) Backseat
This is the backseat of my friend’s car. If you need a voice teacher, just call this guy up because all he has to do is hop in and go. He’s like the circus, except…a vocalist. He’s a singer on wheels. I guess it makes sense that the back of his car looks like a gypsy cavern, because he teaches at no fewer than four institutions in town (and maybe more). There’s some loose sheet music in here, some of which we performed at a prestigious college event. Notice the myriad of staple items (quite possibly including an actual stapler): the Music Theater Anthology, Lieder Anthology, First Book of Soprano Solos, and to top it all off, an IPA dictionary. Because your vowels aren’t correct until you carry an IPA dictionary in your car. Also, I think it’s important to note that what you see in the photo above is merely the top visible layer to a much thicker Cake of Musical Knowledge. Can you even see the floor? No. Because the floor does not exist. Also, a large basket. Adult Trash Face.
These are the examples of Adult Trash Face that I deemed acceptable to post on my blog. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. Stay tuned for the second edition.