Have you gotten sick of seeing pictures of my cat?
I promise that 94 percent of the time, I’m a normal human who’s not entirely obsessed about my pets. In fact, sometimes I need my pets not to be around, so much so that we’ve worked out an understanding, the animals and I. I’ve trained them to respond to the word “out,” and I use the command in everyday situations. For instance:
“OUT.” I’m cooking and I need you to untangle your bodies from my ankles and stop eating every savory morsel of food I accidentally drop on the floor (unless it’s grapes or kale, which pets will not touch).
“OUT,” :::lays down on floor to do sit-ups, gets bombarded in the face with with cat ass and dachshund tongue:::
“OUT.” Get outside and attend to your business ::they pee for less than 4 seconds and demand to be let back in:: Uh, no. You’re not allowed back in until I see actual, steamy turd (this only works with the dogs, obviously). Out.
Sometimes, though, I have to have a nice version of “OUT” for Spike. I use “up, up, up,” (phonetic: “uh-pup-pup”), which means “you’re not doing anything wrong, but I need you to move your ass right now.
…because he is ALL OVER EVERY SURFACE of my studio. All the time. I shot these photos less than an hour apart:
He’s around so much that he’s become a sort of saucy little studio mascot, the wily little minx.