Facepalm Friday: A Director Once Told Me To…

In college, I sang in this choir. It was about 50 singers, the top ensemble, and was directed by a guy who pretty much laid down choral law. I won’t name names, but if you knew his title and location (::it’s a he::) and googled it, you’d come up with a lot of hifalutin stuff. He’s pretty legit in his field. As a freshman, sophomore, and somewhat a junior, I feared his presence. Then I told him that I sometimes eat certain things with my hands (namely shrimp and crab a la a good ol’ southern shrimp boil, courtesy of my family) and that totally changed our relationship.

One day in my tenure as his student, we were in the middle of our regular rehearsal. Director decides to release us from our sweaty riser pen and asks us to form a giant rehearsal circle around the room.

If there’s anything teaching has taught me, it’s that nobody, no one. knows. how. to. form. a circle. When you tell people to get in a circle, they all kind of look like they’re trying to solve an intricate math equation in their head while avoiding eye contact with society. Even college students and seasoned adults do this. I try to at least move first and kind of chorale the confused souls into the right location because I lead.

So we’re forming a circle, and I have somehow managed to be a part of the most ridiculous portion, a tumor-like clump of folk that have congregated around the rolling dry-erase board. So what does he ask us to do?

 “…if you could back that thing up…yes, just back that thing up. Back it up…”

I think someone did some sort of obscene dance move. Everyone laughed. Maestro didn’t get it at first, because his mind is pure and clean. I can’t remember if someone ended up explaining it to him, but he caught on eventually and then refused to acknowledge subsequent dance moves.

Sometimes, it’s okay to act like a middle-schooler with raging hormones. Even when said acting occurs in one of the top choirs in the midwest. It’s whatevs.

This concludes my Facepalm Friday series. In case you missed the last few, here they are:

Two “F’n” Stories (in 223 Words)
Ding, Donnnngggg
How Kenny Loggins Gave Me a “B” in a Music Class

Next week, I’ll be switching to Fresh Hell Friday. Just you wait. I have doozies. teehee.

Happy weekend, all!


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