Uncontrollable Urges: Things I Want to Say and Do During These 16 Songs

For this post, I’ll let the table do the talking.

The Lamb Baaa. Baaa. See “say” column. bleat like a lamb
The Jolly Rodger Tally Ho, yo. drink rum. Coconut.
Lass From The Low Countree she’s dead. And you’re on your way. correct the spelling of “countree”
American Lullaby please stop singing this song die if I hear it one more time
Across The Western Ocean Your oceans are making me cross go to an actual ocean
Let It Go (Frozen) Le tit go. There’s an image. scream at the composer
Glitter & Be Gay (Candide) eff you, high e-flat insert gay joke. allude to glitter
Love Shack (B52’s) Rusted tin roof means pregnant, you fool dance. and not get pregnant
Worst Pies in London (Sweeney Todd) killing people is bad kill people. Also, make peach pie
Matchmaker, Matchmaker (Fiddler) Only you can prevent forest fires visit match.com. Apologize to husband
A Whole New World (Aladdin) (in response to “don’t you dare close your eyes”): DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. rip out carpets. replace with hardwood
Tale As Old As Time (Beauty & The Beast) He has a tail. And it’s a tale. teehee. grow some thyme
Seasons Of Love (Rent) everyone has aids. Aids aids aids. buy seasonal beer. pumpkin.
A Fine, Fine Line (Avenue Q) you’re a puppet Go back to 1995 and make lines in microsoft paint
Don’t Stop Believing (Journey) That piano needs tuned sing karaoke drunkenly
The Circle of Life (The Lion King) Elton John’s eyebrows have their own life force run with actual gazelles


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