12 Christmas Songs Re-Named by Music Teachers: Jingle Bell Mock-Jury

A few days ago, my college students gave their voice final aka jury aka life-reducer. Juries are kind of like bacon: reducing lives by seven minutes each time.

Where I went to school, if we gave a recital, we had to give a mock jury, which basically consisted of giving your recital in its entirety for all of the voice faculty so they could deem you worthy of performing.

Here’s what it was like:

photo 2
a flippin’ shit circus
photo 5
memorize every piece.

I’d psych myself out all the live-long day. Yoga, tea, beta-blockers, visualization…

photo 2


die Bach die
die Bach die

self-promises that as soon as it was over, I’d indulge my senses.

photo 3
judge-free zone

meanwhile, at the judger’s table…

contrived: kind of like your face.
yeah what of it
yeah what of it
does NOT even care
does NOT even care

Of course, it always ended up being okay…

::poops pants::
::poops pants::

Mock Juries: cruel and unusual punishment.

Also, the compulsory Christmas tree, just to bring it home:

look it's about the holidays.
look it’s about the holidays.


I’ve re-named some other pieces. Here they are:

1. Blocking Around the Christmas Tree
2. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Row Singers
3. O, Christmas Tea™



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